


Start a recording for me, D.

by octopodian



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Gen, guess whos emo? im emo!, takes place post s13!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-04-12
Packaged: 2019-04-20 11:27:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14259966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/octopodian/pseuds/octopodian
Summary: Epsilon leaves a lot of messages before he leaves. Some are important and poetic, and others… well:“Hey guys. I hope you don’t mind me leaving a group message for you, but, uh, better dead than red. Hah, literally, at this point."





	Start a recording for me, D.

**Author's Note:**

> i posted this on tumblr (epsilon-church) almost a year ago, so it's finally going here too! edited slightly because its... a year old.

Hey guys. I hope you don’t mind me leaving a group message for you, but, uh, better dead than red. Hah, literally, at this point.

Um, okay. Sarge: I’m gonna be honest, I don’t really have a lot to say to you, but, as much as I hate to admit it, you’re a really good leader: better than me hands down. Keep taking care of your team.

Grif: Honestly, you seem like the coolest person on red team. So, congrats. I know, it’s high praise coming from me. And, listen: If you fuckers keep living in denial, I will straight up reassemble my ass and wingman you two. You know exactly who I’m talking about.

Simmons: It was nice to know at least one other person who wasn’t a complete idiot. Thanks, I guess. You have a lot of repressed shit you gotta work through though, buddy.

Lopez: Y'know, I’ve always felt like you were pretty cool. I literally don’t understand a single word you say, but us robots should stick together, right? Oh, and Donut straight up confessed his undying love for you, or whatever. I don’t know if you feel the same (again, no hablo español) but if so: ask him out, man! One of us kickass robots needs to get a boyfriend.

Donut: Honestly? I’ve always liked you. You were always nice to Caboose, which not gonna lie, I wish I was. Plus, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t at least think you were cute. Maybe cut down on the innuendos, though, I think Simmons might have a heart attack if his blood pressure gets any higher.

Doc: I still don’t know what fucking team you’re on, but I’m including you here. I know you and O'Malley made Alpha’s life a living hell, but I wasn’t really around for that, so you’re cool in my book. Stop pretending you know how medicine works.

Speaking of, O’Malley: Literally every conversation we’ve had involved one-sided threats, but I have a final wish, or whatever. Please, say hi to Omega for me. Trust me, he’ll love to see what someone based on Alpha's Omega is like.

Alright, I’ve gotta go, I still have to record messages for the Blues and Carolina. Take care of them, okay?

-

Hey Wash! I know we haven’t really gotten along, but I want to thank you for being there for them. Tucker and Caboose really needed someone, and I- anyway. I’m sorry for what I did to you before becoming, well, me, and I’m sorry again that I never brought it up. I can't say I was exactly stable or even a person at that point, but you still got fucked up 'cause of it. Sorry. I mean, better late than never, right?

-

Hey Tucker! Listen, man, first up: sorry if deleting myself in your suit causes any side effects. Seriously. I know I’m not Alpha, but speaking as someone with his memories, you were his best friend. I-We've never been exactly great with emotions, but he cared a lot for you. I do too. I’m sorry for leaving you, and sorry we never got to have a beer together. See you on the other side, man.

-

Caboose! Buddy! Uh. Listen. I don’t really know how to put this but…you’re my best friend, Caboose. I never really told you that - even if you might think that I did - but it’s true. I’m sorry for not being there for you, and for leaving you. I thought I was doing the right thing by not saying goodbye, but really I was just sparing myself. Well, not this time. Bye, buddy. You’re in charge of remembering me, ok?

-

Hey, sis. This is probably the hardest message to record: saving the best for last, right?  
…Where do I even begin? I mean, you’re Agent Carolina! You’re the best, you’re number one, and you always have been. I’m honored I got to…I don’t know, just that I got to know you! Really.  
…Y’know, all your life you’ve had people never say goodbye. Your mom, Allison; your friends, the freelancers, York; hell, even the Director didn’t say goodbye. So, even though it might be nicer to be in denial, to pretend I’m still coming back, and I know it’s the last thing you want to hear, I’ve gotta say it:

Goodbye, Carolina.


End file.
